POLICIES
The various policies describing how I operate

Quality Policy

While the website takes something of a light-hearted approach to many element, I hope it is evident that quality is at the heart of what I do. I am a one-man noise assessment company so I have no corporate office to hide behind and obfuscate things if I am found not to have done the job properly. As a single person company I need a good reputation and repeat business and you don’t get that by being a bit crap at the job. I do the noise assessments well and do them right, and as everything is written there is always a record of what I have done.

Noise meters are calibrated as needed and certificates confirming that are in each report.

Why no ISO-gubbins?

Frankly because of cost, and because of its limited value to a one-man company. I would be writing procedures for me to review and approve for me to follow, but incurring costs which would then be passed on to clients.

Environmental Policy

I am me, some noise meters, a laptop, and, depending on the weather, a car or a motorbike to get to sites. My only environmental impacts are the initial manufacture of the equipment and then fuel to get to places. I have a very keen interest in making sure my fuel efficiency is as good as possible as I am the one who has to bear the costs of it!

Before being a noise-nerd I was a safety nerd, but before being a safety nerd I was an environmental nerd, indeed my degree is actually in Environmental Pollution and Control. A key thing of that is that ‘local’ is not synonymous for ‘low environmental impact’. If a local company has offices then they have the environmental impact of building and maintaining them, heating, lighting, admin staffing travel impact, furnishing, and on and on. I have none of that. To paraphrase the great Bob Mortimer, my environmental impact is as fleeting as a fingerprint on a handrail.

Add to this I own and maintain five acres of woodland. Having measured my personal CO2 footprint I am somewhere in the region of -11 tones of CO2 per year - more is taken in by the woodland I own and manage than I create through both my personal and professional life combined.

Diversity and Discrimination Policy

I don’t employ anyone nor have any intention of doing so. Been there, done it, want the easy life now.

Health and Safety Policy and risk assessment

Yep, I have one even though HASAWA says I don’t need it, but it is huge and frankly not the most riveting read. Clients can have a copy at any time so please just shout if you need it. It is brilliant at helping with insomnia.

Same with risk assessments for the noise assessments.

Accident Management Policy

I am a one-man band so have a preference not to kill or break myself - I my arm falls off I can’t work, which would make me poor, which would make me sad.

On-site supervision

I am me so am at the top of the hierarchy or at the bottom depending on how you look at it. Either way there is nobody to supervise me. Freedom!

Data Processing and Privacy

With Aardvark Health taking on the health screening side of the business I no longer process any personal health data. All clients were notified of the intention of Aardvark to take on the screening business, including existing data so the health screening programmes can be continuous rather than restarting and all clients were given the opportunity to object to the process. As Aardvark took on the health screening business all data stayed within business unit that unless a client requested it to be removed.

Noise assessments process no personal data other than the business contact name and business contact details for personnel organising a noise assessment.

This website collects no personal data - any data collected is aggregate-only for basic website performance figures, number of visits per page, total number of device types visiting a page (e.g. desktop, mobile) so I can ensure the pages load correctly on the types of devices used to access them.